Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 27: Christmas and COVID

By Melissa Menny

Trees draped in dangling lights, 14-foot Santa inflatables, chasing LED lights, and colorful twinkling arch pathways are just some of the decorations we have been seeing. As soon as December starts, we partake in our yearly tradition of rolling down the streets of neighborhoods with Christmas lights and decor galore. The more, the better. While entranced, I realized looking at lights from our car was one of the safer activities we could enjoy, especially considering the rise in COVID cases.

Since I was a kid, I have always loved Christmas lights. Even at 35 years old, it still fills me with wonder. I have also always enjoyed the holidays because of the illusion it provides about the world around me. For a few weeks it seems as if there isn’t everything wrong with it. Strangers wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. They are smiling as you pass instead of avoidant and guarded. While looking at lights, some families stand in front of their houses to pass out candy canes and play music. A few even dress up as Santa or other Christmas characters to greet onlookers. It is almost enough to make you forget that people are sick and dying at an abnormal rate from multiple ills globally. Between the resurgence in COVID cases, the genocide in Gaza, and the violence and displacement in Congo, escapism has been necessary for those of us who can’t look away.

In addition to everything, a new variant is being tracked by the World Health Organization called JN.1. Reports show that it is spreading fast and is responsible for the growing number of recent COVID-19 cases. The lack of mandates and concerns have been frightening, to say the least. Not to mention, as a country, we haven’t mourned on a larger scale at all. We haven’t paused long enough to fixate on what the best course of action is or how to care for one another as this virus continues to plague us. Of course, that is due to the fact that consumerism wins every time with a sprinkle of misinformation and lack of concern. To think in 2020, the beginning of the pandemic’s number of mandated isolation days was ten, and now it is just five, which speaks to the culture of working oneself to death. The fact that our leaders are bragging about a “thriving” economy while people continue to die from COVID-19 further centers this perspective.

As a parent of toddlers who have been steeped in sickness for months, the world around me looks different. As we search for joy, wonderment, and a sense of normalcy for our kids, I can’t help but suppress fear. A large portion of that fear is battling COVID again. With every cough, sneeze, and fever, we have prayed that it wasn’t COVID. When they get sick, I almost always get sick as well. It has been an exhausting and mentally draining fall.

In addition to illnesses being our normal, everything is rapidly changing. We are at the end of my toddler’s first semester of school. I cannot believe our child has already completed a semester of pre-k three. Secondly, I have just completed graduate school, and my husband will be going back to graduate school in the Spring. One thing that is evident is we are not slowing down. As much as I would love for us to hide in our home from everything, we can’t. We are existing in the wreckage of the world around us as best as we can.

As the illusion of a beautiful world is near its end, I can’t help but be grateful for it. We are living in the constant reminder of illnesses and grief. When we pick up our phones and leave our homes we see it. Everything that is wrong and scary in the world right now is loud. Riding in our car to look at Christmas lights has provided us with some form of peace and quiet.

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.

This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. It originally ran on December 24, 2023. Read entry 26 here.