Pandemic Motherhood Diary, Entry 28: Can I wear one, Mommy?

By Melissa Menny

My oldest son enjoys trips to the grocery store. Aside from looking forward to what he can get, he really loves riding in the shopping cart. We pull up to the store. My husband gets out to sanitize the basket before we place our children in it. While waiting for me to emerge from the front seat of the car, my son noticed Mommy had on a mask. “Why are you wearing that mask? Can I wear one, Mommy? I won’t take it off.”

After he asked me a second time, it dawned on me that our oldest, now four years old, has never known a world without the need for a mask and now can possibly wear one as well.

When he asked me why I was wearing the mask, I explained that mommy wanted to protect herself from germs and getting sick. He understood this in his own way since he had an idea of what it meant to be sick. So of course he partially understood why mommy was wearing a mask and saw the value in wearing one himself. Not to mention his bout with COVID in 2022. Although he may not remember the horror of the experience, I do.

If I’m being completely transparent, I was very lax in my safety protocols for a bigger part of last year. Aside from using hand sanitizer, I rarely wore a mask in public spaces. I allowed the majority of those around me not wearing a mask to make me feel discouraged. After countless reminders of just how afraid I am of getting infected again, I decided to push back on that need to blend in. Pretending I was not worried about it or praying every time I left the house was no longer doable. I have been the only person in certain spaces wearing a mask recently, and I am more than okay with that.

My son’s questions forced me to revisit the guidelines regarding masking toddlers. According to the CDC, toddlers younger than two years old shouldn’t wear a mask. The obvious idea is that the older the toddler is, the better they can keep the mask on. Between all of the right-wing rage that labels masking children as child abuse and me wondering if it would actually make a difference for a four-year-old, I find myself weighing the possibilities. Does it make sense for my active four-year-old to wear a mask? Do toddlers understand boundaries and responsibility enough to keep it on?

The thought of my son wearing a mask is actually saddening. I’m not sure if anyone else believed that we would still be in a pandemic and dealing with COVID-19 in 2024, but I did not. I really hoped we wouldn’t. I can recall the fear and uncertainty during the days of the lockdown. I also remember that the vaccine rollout provided me with a sense of relief. My son was three months old at the beginning of it all. Now, here he is, at four years old, asking me for a mask. It is a squeeze on my heart and a blow to whatever hope I had left.

Are we going to allow or advise our son to wear a mask? Honestly, I don’t know. It feels like the responsible thing to do while also feeling ridiculous. What I do know is the reality of my toddler. He is not going to wear a mask for three-plus hours while away at school. So, during this time when the cases are increasing, and the symptoms of long-COVID are being discussed, what are we supposed to do? For the first time, I don’t have a clear answer readily available for my son. Just thinking about the long list of crucial conversations we have to have with our boys, we have to add COVID to the list.

Melissa Menny is an author with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism. She is a poet and a writer in all aspects. When she is not working, she enjoys painting, music, and spending time with her husband and two sons.

This is the most recent in a series of essays about raising young children in the COVID era. Read entry 27 here.